The True Gift of Self-Care

12.28.2018 I By, Megan Gildin

           This time of year, it is not uncommon to see articles with titles like “20 Gifts for Self-Care” or “How to Cure Your Anxiety with Coconut Oil,” which go on to link to things you can buy, from bath bombs to boutique fitness memberships, that most likely will not actually change your life or cure your depression. While I am all for finding new ways to treat yourself, I am concerned that the culture of wellness and #selfcare has become oversaturated with capitalistic ploys, basing wellness in material goods and high-priced services only those with a certain level of income and access can attain, rather than focusing on the habits and actions we can all take to nourish ourselves and our communities. I worry, too, that this rhetoric leads to self-medicating and minimizing serious mental health needs rather than seeking help. In an effort to bring the focus of wellness back to its root, here is my list of gifts to encourage self-care:

Gifts you can give to others:	Gifts you can give to yourself:
Give them alone time and space to be.	Build in time to be still.
Ask permission before unloading your thoughts and feelings on them.	Set boundaries with friends and loved ones.
Invite them on a walk.	Take a break to get outside or look outside.
Cook a meal together.	Make food that feeds your body and soul.
Ask, “How are you?”	Check in with yourself. Be aware of others’ energy.
Put down your phone when you are together.	Put your phone away and try to be in the moment.
Listen without judgement.	Listen to your thoughts and feeling without judgement.
Ask them if they are looking for advice or for your support while they vent.	Let yourself wallow, but don’t stay there forever.
With permission, hold their hand, give them a 20 second hug, kiss them.	Give yourself a massage wherever you need.
Dance, sing, or move together	Put on music you love and get lost in it.
Tell them why you are grateful for them.	Write down three things you are grateful for.
Support them in seeking therapy, and help them find an affordable option.	Don’t hesitate to seek help.

Try them and let me know how it goes.